Creamy, garlicky cheese nestled in jalapeño quarters, wrapped in a trio of sausages and crisp bacon, kissed with smoke and a bold all-purpose rub. A rich, spicy bite balanced by cool ranch for dipping.
Finely dice the garlic. In a large bowl, blend the breakfast sausage, Italian sausage, and chorizo until evenly combined; refrigerate until needed.
Make the dry rub: In a bowl or jar, combine chipotle powder, Turbinado sugar, ancho chili powder, paprika, Morton Coarse Kosher Salt, cumin, onion powder, dried thyme, dried marjoram, cayenne, crushed green peppercorns, ground white pepper, celery seed (or 1/2 tsp celery seed powder), ground allspice, cinnamon, and ginger. Seal airtight until use.
In a medium bowl, mix cream cheese, cheddar cheese, and the diced garlic until well blended. Taste and add salt if needed.
Prep the jalapeños: Remove stems, halve lengthwise, scoop out seeds, then cut each half in half to make quarters.
Fill each jalapeño quarter with about 1 teaspoon of the cheese mixture.
Form the eggs: For each, pat about 1/3 cup of the sausage mixture into a 3-inch circle. Place a stuffed jalapeño quarter in the center, wrap the sausage around to fully enclose, and shape into an egg.
Wrap each sausage egg with 1 slice of bacon, positioning the seam on the bottom. Season all over with the dry rub.
Prepare a smoker or grill for 2-zone indirect cooking at about 225°F. Add 2 to 3 chunks of smoking wood to the fire.
Cook the sausage-wrapped jalapeños over indirect heat for 1 to 1 1/2 hours, until the sausage is cooked through and bacon is rendered.
Serve warm with ranch dressing for dipping.